What Will I Become?

I squealed like a tween at a Four Town concert when I heard John Siracusa announce that he had quit his job.

I’ve been an avid ATP listener for several years now, and fully admit to being a John fanboy, as much as Marco is delightful and I used to live fairly near Casey (don’t be creepy) and shared a lot of his opinions. Congratulations to John for taking such a big step in his career.

Following the bombshell announcement on ATP, I went to read John’s blog post and listen to his explanation on Reconcilable Differences. Both served to remind me why I am so drawn to the work of independent producers like the ATP gang, Merlin Mann, and all of the TWiTs. I enjoy the authenticity of it and the way in which these creators and reporters don’t plaster a veneer of neutrality over their conversations, or even fake excitement. Hell, there have been whole months that I skipped MacBreak Weekly because Leo was in a funk or I was weary of hearing Alex and Andy have the same argument, but I’ve always come back for exactly that sense of personality.

Which brings me to the meandering thoughts of this evening:

What is it that I’m trying to become?

In the course of unpacking John’s decision to quit his day job, he and Merlin had a great conversation about finding your purpose as an independent creator.

I’m still trying to find mine. It feels like every time I start focusing in on a single subject, I find a significant reason to step away.

See my previous post’s mention of possible neurodivergent elements in my personality, and or my own cussed stubbornness. (Also, I came down with either a mild cold or a really bad case of allergies and have been sleeping too long all week, and thus failed utterly at making my phone calls. Hopefully I’ll get to them tomorrow.)

But what if instead of fighting my personality and or brain wiring, I try to focus on helping other people process things? That is, to unpack my own exploration of creativity as I reach out to others and help them explore their own creative processes.

This, of course, means I have to freaking talk to people.

But it’s worth considering. After all, I used to spend hours on the phone with my cousin George. We even had a short-lived podcast in which he played the conservative/libertarian being dragged kicking and screaming into the center by the co-opting of his preferred labels by Trump-worshiping Nazis, while I played the frustrated centrist being thrust into ultra-liberalism because apparently half the nation wanted people like me dead. We recorded about a dozen episodes in the early days of 2017, then gave up because he was so flabbergasted by the madness of it all and I couldn’t even call myself a centrist jokingly.

And then there was that awesome writer interview I did with my convention buddy JD, but never released because life took a sudden rollercoaster twist about two weeks after we sat down to talk.

I still feel a bit bad about that. And the incomplete interviews with other writer friends.

Wow. Looking back, my creative history is a scattering of abandoned and half finished projects, and we haven’t even touched on novel concepts, comics, scripts, or a dozen hand-craft hobbies.

I’m going to dig into this more… soon.


  • Health: I’ve felt like crap for the last three days. Still kept up with helping the kids on homework and doing my work, but there was also a LOT of sleeping.
  • Writing: I’m goin to call this a win in the writing department, in that I composed it a day /early/. Yes. I’m confessing to pre-writing articles here on the blog, but I actually consider that a win because by pre-writing I’m exercising my brain more on those days /and/ possible coming up with topics to turn into YouTube videos. I assure you that health and mindset elements will always be composed day-of posting.
  • Mindset: Positive. I’ve had some ups and downs recently, but after some conversations and texts today I think a lot of what was frustrating me has been resolved.

Your Daily Serving of Interesting

It pains me to admit that TikTok exists, but my bonus-daughter sent this to me and I can’t resist sharing: So much enthusiasm for this upcoming AppleTV+ documentary featuring dinosaurs with feathers.

Until Next Time

Thanks for reading. I hope to make this a daily habit, at least until I get back into writing enough fiction or producing enough videos that I don’t need this journal to force me into taking half an hour to practice my craft every day. Please consider reading one of my books, subscribing to my YouTube channel, or following me on Facebook and Twitter if you enjoy these posts.

Take care of yourself and those you love.